One of the many things we have learned is the skill to over ride our natural inclinations. What I mean by that is that we, as normal parents and normal compassionate people, have instincts that lead us to protect, to nurture, to comfort the people around us. Children provoke the strongest of those emotions. The smaller the child, the more vulnerable, the stronger the instincts become. One of the most difficult things is to allow logic to prevail over emotion, to allow pain to be strategically administered knowing that this pain is for the greater good of your baby. Intuition over inclination.
We feel every pin prick, every uncomfortable position, every incision, stitch, every worry and every fear 1000 fold of what it likely is to Henry. We need to control our instincts at every moment, and at every turn. We don't want the nurses and doctors touching Henry, but we need them to. He needs them too. But it still hurts - A Lot - and Often.
Henry is in unbelievable hands. He has literally had the care of 100's of health care professionals since before he was born. We owe them all a debt of gratitude. Every one of them. We owe you all a debt of gratitude for all your good wishes, mojo, energy and prayers for little Henry. Thank you family, friends, neighbors and friends of friends. With over 6000 blog reads to date, we feel the love. Henry feels the love. We are grateful every day for the support we get from all of you and grateful to the health care workers - nurses, docs, RT's, support staff, admin... all of you - for all that you have done and are doing for us and for Henry.
We believe very truly that the power of positive thinking can help 'will' an outcome. That is not to say however that we are always successful. We certainly have our moments, and they can come without warning, and with some cathartic vengeance. To be brave is sometimes to be vulnerable enough to admit that we are sometimes sad, and sometimes angry that Henry has been dealt this hand. We work hard to quickly remember that this will soon be a distant memory and a very worthwhile investment in Henry's happy life going forward. After all, happiness prevails all and that is our instinct to help Henry bring to his own life some day. Until he can create his own happiness, we'll help it along.
Henry is doing well today. He is resting well between being upset. Who can blame him for being upset. He is sore, tired, scared and frankly, a little sick of it all. In between, he has also started to smile for the first time today. Yesterday we got a half hearted grin but today he is showering us with full open mouth smiles and some even with his little tongue out. What a treat that is for us - medicine for mommy and daddy's breaking hearts.
Since Henry has had enough, and needed a cuddle from mommy, Owen graciously decided to be his 'Stunt Double' for rounds. Here is a little clip of Owen keeping Henry's TV and bed warm while mommy gets some snuggle time in with Henry ( good for them both ).
We may have some fun with a new resident or nurse coming next week with a little Owen and Henry switch up. That's a good sign that things are going in the right direction!
Staying at Ronald Mcdonald House certainly is a blessing. It is our home away from home. We hope that some of the other parents in the home will reach their solution soon with the kids they care about, and we care about too. All come from different social and economic backgrounds, and have lots of factors to deal with. Some show signs of frustration with delays in coming to their solution.
Though our health care system is far from perfect, it is far from a failure too. We hope that they stay patient with the people looking after them, and focus their immediate energy to their kids, and their frustration to the system in a functional way, vs. the people that are working very hard to help them. Of course, we can not discuss this with them as the situations are independent, variable and not our business. We just know that we have dealt with some unbelievably caring people, that do their very best each day to help those that don't 'want' the help, but 'need' it. That's not to say we haven't been a little ticked at the system for being bumped a few weeks ago, but you soon learn the system of triage that is in place and that the front line people are in it with you, not against you. Stay strong parents that may read this in the future, there is light at the end of the tunnel and just keep working your way toward it. It is not a straight or smooth road, but there is an end and beginning coming.
Special thanks to Emma for the smiles she sends us across the room from Henry. Peanut, at 9 months old you are the biggest flirt I have ever seen. Adorable. Get well soon too sweetie.
And Lisa Gardner - for looking after Magnus today, after being charge Nurse for Henry yesterday. We really appreciate you helping us along the way.
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